Intro:I couldn't just let my
fundamentalist gnomist competitor provide all the
hard photographic evidence for belief in gnomes. I have to get to everyone before everyone believes in gnomism because they have proof! Fortunately, Da__Vinci pointed me to a
PZ Myers post not too long ago...
It was only a matter of time before Christians took the gloves off and started making derogatory and ignorant remarks about those idiosyncratic little people who made the universe as it is near
the beginning of this year. People so often fear what they don't understand:
"There is no such thing as a real gnome so why should we have such unnatural creatures in churchyards?"
That's a mighty
arrogant claim. Does this person have complete knowledge of all that exists? From the gnome point of view this Christian is the "unnatural" one. I also find it terribly
ironic how to even begin to persecute gnomes, they always have to presuppose they exist!
"Things such as gnomes and plastic flowers are not permitted because they are aesthetically unattractive and they make it harder to maintain the grounds. The historic churchyards are part of Somerset and we want to keep them tidy and safe. If people want their loved ones to be buried in one of our churchyards then they have to stick to the rules which are clearly displayed at all churchyards."
People should really think twice before getting rid of the garden gnomes. They may
seem like an eyesore (and boy do I get tired of hearing that one), but as I've
pointed out numerous times, the fate of the ugnomeverse depends on mass quantities of those little "statues." I guess they don't know the deep satisfaction that comes from being able to believe tacky lawn ornaments have a critical role to play in preserving life as we know it.
Thankfully, not everyone is so narrow minded:
"People should be free to put what they want around the gravestones as it is down to personal preference. It helps the grieving process as you can surround the grave of the person you love with possessions that were important to them. I am lucky I live so near as I can take fresh flowers, but what about the people who live far away? They will have to leave knowing the flowers will deteriorate and will look unsightly after a few days."
That's more like it! Flowers didn't parade around my bed that morning. It was gnomes!
Outro:Evidence alone is not the only standard of justification for beliefs. There is an especially important part of coherent theories (or reliabilism) where subjectivism needs to be considered (but it is not just for coherentism). One of the philosophers I'm following a number of works on to expand my understanding of coherentism is Kvanvig. He brings up these important issues in Kvanvig "Subjective Justification," mind, n.s., 93, no. 369 (1984):71-84.
Ben
Comments (26)
Is that outro paragraph serious? lol.
I think my evidence is better. Srsly.
@Axis_of_Doom - Of course it's serious! It's just as serious as my evidence! I just hate people who make bad inferences. You're grossly misleading the public with those photos. Obviously if the ugnomeverse has only been around for a year, then there hasn't been a gnomist conspiracy for 60 years as your "evidence" suggests. Maybe the gnomes made it look like there was a gnomist conspiracy, but in reality, gnomes don't care about politics. Maybe you should come back in a month after you've read through some of that reading list I provided a while ago and then you can say something intelligent about gnomism. Remember, those are actually Christian apologetic books. But you have to interpret them through the eyes of presuppositionalist gnomistic mysticism. Then you will have all the tools you will ever need to fight off all the agnomist arguments.
:p
Ben
@WAR_ON_ERROR - Actually, I've been reading about coherentism a bit lately. Some versions seem to get a bit complex but I don't think any form of coherentism provides an adequate solution to the regress problem yet.
And my evidence isn't misleading. Sure, it may be very likely photoshopped but the inherent and extremely small probability of it being actually genuine is inherently more likely than the more probable explanation.
Jackass.
@Axis_of_Doom - The fact that I maintain my level of confidence in gnomism despite having no objective reasons to proves that they must have been the architects of that subjective confidence. There's no regress...just a circle.
@Axis_of_Doom - While I generally approve of arguments to the worst explanation (see reading list again), in this case it contradicts my own personal experiences.
Night before last, my friend Ariel who loves gnomes was telling me all about them. Ariel's from London and we were talking about how, if a person tried to get away with this "gnomes don't exist" garbage in Ireland, he'd be laughed out the pub. Having lived in London and visited Ireland, and being part Irish, I feel closer to the little buggers. They don't need humans, as Ariel says. That's what pisses humans off.
@artworkjanalee - Sometimes I forget the prevalence of belief in fairy folk trapped here in the US where people believe in other things.
@WAR_ON_ERROR - If it's only been around for a year, that would then make me not responsible for anything I've "done" over a year ago.
@Andrea_TheNerd - Duh.
@WAR_ON_ERROR - Sweet, then I'm totally off the hook for that thing at the slumber party with the underwear!
@Andrea_TheNerd - Yes, maybe. But that slumber party without the underwear, you might still get in trouble for.
I just love gnomes -- so kitchy! Do you remember when, years ago, some people stole a lady's garden gnome and took it on vacation? They took it all over America and snapped pictures with it in front of famous monuments, sites, etc... I thought I'd die -- that was so damn funny. I think I'd like to hang with those theives!
@windycurls - I hear there have been many copy cat thieves since. ;)
we shall crusade on behalf of gnomism
What's the gnome equivalent to jihad?
@misuriver - Gnomhad? Gnomerdamerung? Gnompocalypse?
I like the "outro"! That's a far better word than "conclusion"!
@misuriver - haha! That's what I was wondering!
OML.... Just put it one when no one is looking ;) Thats what I would do!
@GodAintGood - Did I mention the gnomist religion doesn't include any kind of personal relationship? They're just amoral busybodies who occasionally seem like they care about us.
@misuriver - Gnomamageddon might be appropriate if the gnomes need to reuse the cosmic material our existence is made out of for something else. There's really no telling where they will flock with their construction (or de-construction) efforts.
@bosefius - I like your enthusiasm. Buy garden gnomes. It may save the ugnomeverse.
@Krissy_Cole - Indeed. I got the idea off of a Christian rap CD.
@bassangel - I'll bet that's exactly what happened as a result of this news story. ;)
@WAR_ON_ERROR - Thats funny! I hope they cemented it in ;)
@WAR_ON_ERROR - I have two already and I can hear their little voices, telling me to get rid of the bird bath and bring more of their brothers and sisters to the yard. I don't want to do what they tell me (my wife really likes the bird bath) but I don't know how much longer I can hold out.
@bassangel - Yes, I do hope they got irritatingly creative.
@bosefius - lmao.
"Gnomageddon." I'll have to remember that.
@Axis_of_Doom - You would, you crazy gnomist fundie you.