Tuesday, 12 August 2008
Intro: Some of you may be scratching your heads wondering how I can live this double life. How can he be a gnomist on the one hand and then a rational person on the other? I’m glad you asked.
I’ve argued that the best explanation for my gnomist experience from several months ago was that gnomes created the world at that time and I just so happened to catch their escape. But what I didn’t realize is that they semi-intentionally created an agnomistic (and atheistic) world… In other words they created a world where the best explanation of all the evidence we might acquire would not point to gnomism. Had it not been for my recent discovery that philosophers had discovered gnomes through abstract philosophical argument all might have been lost. And from that basis I can consider all of the apparently agnomistic evidence a true testimony to their amazingly consistent craftsgnomeship. Much like how George Lucas set out to create the appearance of a “used universe” in the sci-fi epic series, Star Wars, it appears the gnomes have gone all out and made what might be called a “paradigm piece” of shear gnomistic brilliance. I can feel quite confident gnomism is still true despite the fact and because of the fact that there exists such a compelling and complete anti-supernatural world view for me to argue from. After all, how else could there be such a compelling case against the truth of religiousity unless many someones made it that way? I see it is now my duty to argue both as a full fledged Bright and to be a fully consistent sophisticated Gnomist. But there is more to the story:
Gnostic gnomism and the fate of the ugnomeverse.
I clearly established in “The New Agnomists Attack Fundamentalist Gnomism” that Christian apologetics were my mystical guide (gnomystical?) in grounding my gnomist beliefs and that I could unlock the secrets of history from arguing that I didn’t understand how a lot of it worked. Further, I went on to argue that the purchasing of gnome yard ornaments (which I've done, btw) could very well save the universe from being destroyed by the future activities of gnomes in other dimensions. The gnomes for whatever idiosyncratic reason (who knows what they will do, right?) in their idiot savant ingenuity left for this world a cosmic gnome displacement relief valve in the form of ceramic garden gnome factories. The more we buy, the more they will make and the more they make, the more the gnomistic daughter elements traveling through interdimensional space can be properly disposed of lest our universe break up and fall to the bottom of their cosmic kiln prematurely. And of course I explained how it was the height of arrogance and bigotry to blow off this theory because of other possible explanations of garden gnomes. I didn’t experience those explanations (and you certainly can’t make me now)! Clearly they aren’t just decoration and the entire universe is in jeopardy! But sometimes my faith in this wanes and that brings us to the next section:
The myth of agnomism and how I deal with how much I don’t believe gnomism is true.
Christians must be gnomist prophets. They told me all my anti-religion blogging must “mean something” and they finally convinced me. At first I entertained the notion (and still do of course when thinking my non-gnomist magisterial thoughts) that it could be justified given various cultural needs. If it weren’t infringing on the happiness of my life, what did it matter if I continued to do something that I was apparently good at? Didn’t it help some people? Didn’t I enjoy it? It seemed to make sense, but now I see I was gravely mistaken. Why would there be so much belief in religion and especially Christianity unless gnomism were true? Their methodologies like presuppositionalism, experientialism, and fideism must be valid or they would not continue to advocate them against the grain of everything good and senseful in the world, right? I couldn’t think of a better explanation…or rather I could and that only increased my confidence that those gnomes really knew what they were doing!
And finally, how GNOMA allows me to pull it all together:
And no matter how much I blow off my gnomist experience as just a sleep paralysis hallucination that I take advantage of as an atheist blogger, the (what I would otherwise call ignorant) persistent insistence that atheists were repressing their belief in God convinced me that my hypocritical skeptical repression of my gnomist experientialism was in fact stalling out a genuine gnomist fideism that should have set in. What some people might call the rational part of my brain had no right to cock block such religiosity and I see this must be true given our rampant religious world. That explains why I didn’t really take my experiences seriously (as though mere background knowledge in some psychology was really sufficient) and thought gnomism was “just a gag” to pull on the religious bloggers on xanga! Boy was I wrong! No longer will I accept the dogma that people who walk, talk, and appear in every sense of the claim to be genuine agnomist individuals are truly agnomists. Given GNOMA and the gnostic gnomism framework as explained above I can much better explain my gnomistic experience, my unbelief in gnomism as an explanation of the world, why I am compelled to blog about gnomism, and all of my apparently a-gnomistic blogging, why gnomism is such a better explanation of universals than theism is, and the reason I cannot convince Christian presuppositionalists that they are 100% full of crap. Finally everything is coherent!
So if you see me blogging in a sense that seems to exclude my belief in gnomism, and then blog the next day about it, it should be perfectly clear where I’m coming from. Think GNOMA.
I would just like to thank all the religious people of the world, whose epistemic insights have been such a benefit to my new belief system and this posting series.
Sometimes I wish though that I had a pure and innocent faith like my fundamentalist gnomist friend, extremegoatmaster. He doesn’t have to deal with such sophistication and methodological madness. He just believes its true, and that all the evidence points to it, and if you don’t think so you are a total pussy. Just ask him; he'll tell you. As much as I have to cringe whenever someone lumps me into the same camp as him, I do admit I have to admire it in its own way. Isn’t gnomistic fidelity beautiful?
Next up: "Gnomist vs. Nomist; The Great Debate." Lolcat believers take me to task claiming, “Without ceiling cat, it's just an ug___everse.” The medium gnomist teleology of existence compels me forward despite the overwhelming odds against being able to accommodate yet another magisteria into my new belief system. Can one be a Bright, a gnomist, and a ceiling cat follower? Geez, that seems a hard pill to swallow. I guess we’ll find out.
On an unrelated note, I wish that feline poking through the hole in the upside down, elevated floor would stop viewing my monosexual activities. It’s just weird and for some reason I'm finding it difficult to accommodate it into my exclusivistic gnomist framework.