Thursday, 08 November 2007
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Raising Prot-bot
So you’re raising a Prot-bot?
Intro:
My parents are Christians. They are raising my sisters to be Christians. One of my little sisters (age 12) actually hates monkeys because of how Frank Perretti portrayed the evil evolution lab experiment gone wild in his recent book, Monster. She’s been spending a lot of time lately making a PowerPoint presentation that can only be described as “hate mongering” towards all monkeys. Maybe it was the banner, “I hate evil monkeys!” that gave it away.
Perhaps this would not be as startling if she wasn’t exhibiting other patented and pretentious Prot-bot behaviors in general that tend to get on my nerves. While this harsh out-group thinking of hers (because of one fictional genetically engineered monkey) is probably just a phase and not necessarily a reason to prevent her from being a zoo keeper in the future, I wonder what I would do if despite my best efforts to indoctrinate my own children with daily devotionals from “Sense and Goodness without God”, that one of them managed to be convinced by children at school that Christianity might be true.
While I may be an “epistemic Nazi”, I do believe in the freedom to believe whatever you want and to express yourself accordingly as long as it doesn’t involve hurting other people. So if my kid turned up to be a die hard Christian, how would I handle that as a concerned parent? Granted, I’m fairly certain the odds of this happening are approximately zero…but you never know, right? This post is really just a tangent thought and so I’m not going to cover every aspect, but instead briefly touch on the aspect of their online activities. Let’s pretend my kid has a blog and wishes to be as outspoken as I am. And I only have three things in mind:
- Censorship
of any emotional bullying that has an eye out for imposing anything from the
list of Scriptural cult think-isms typically deployed to
intimidate the opposition.
This black listing would be in effect until they turn 18. Basically they can make all the
arguments for God’s existence they want all day long, but they’re not allowed
to appeal to, “The Bible says you secretly believe God exists, and that anyone
that denies this is evil.”
- Freedom to use any rational-esque argument (defined by me only
to the extent of eliminating the cult think of #1), to read any book they want
or talk to anyone they want about these issues. Basically complete freedom of
investigation and even evangelism to the extent they try to persuade people on
appropriate grounds.
- My opinion per significant topic, as
muted as possible, with optional links to other resources so they at least know
what I think about it even if they don’t agree. I don’t think reading the Bible
is a problem if you have someone right there with you to explain how
emotionally damaging and debilitating to personal development many aspects of
Scripture can be. At
least they can start pretending at an early age that those key evil verses
don’t mean what they say.
Outro:
I wouldn’t wish to control them per se, but I wouldn’t facilitate emotional bullying that typically goes along with Christian evangelism. It’d be that “my house, my rules” kind of thing. They should be able to argue on behalf of their religion without it…and of course they should be able to put up with my opinion on it as well. They don’t have to agree with me on anything, but they will at least have exposure to their error as it sets in so that whatever damage they do to themselves on their own time is purely a matter of their own choice…not their ignorance. I don’t think that would be asking too much.
Ben
- Censorship
of any emotional bullying that has an eye out for imposing anything from the
list of Scriptural cult think-isms typically deployed to
intimidate the opposition.
This black listing would be in effect until they turn 18. Basically they can make all the
arguments for God’s existence they want all day long, but they’re not allowed
to appeal to, “The Bible says you secretly believe God exists, and that anyone
that denies this is evil.”
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Comments (9)
I hate monkeys, but that has more to do with a zoo trip I made in first grade. Thing flung poop at me and the rest of the class.
SkyMarshalOZ,
Dude (dudette?) I know exactly what you mean man. Chimps can be mean little boogers.
Agnostics,
I think your post above says one thing that is common among all parents: You want to be one of the main influences in your child's life. This is the same as all parents so I can't see how you would be different from anyone else. Also I'm going to post some political stuff and I'd welcome your opinion. oh and SkyMarshalOZ you are more than welcome to comment yourself.
I have a hard time saying I would let my hypothetical child entertain thoughts of Christianity. But then again, having been one all my life until last year, I could also provide them with objective reasons to why I don't want them involved. Especially if they just wanna do it cause their friends are.
I would have a little bit of trouble allowing my kids to be Christians, but I would certainly do my best to be okay with it. I wouldn't, however, give them a free ride through it, like parents do with young kids and Santa Claus. The only thing is.. I don't want to seem openly critical of their beliefs, because that usually causes kids to not want to talk about it with their parents. So it'd be another step in my journey to becoming a person who can gently nudge those with conflicting internal beliefs to realize their errors without alienating them as friends or acquaintances - something I've been slowly getting better at over the past few years.
I wonder too what it was like for my dad, as a somewhat-deist, having Christian kids who tried on occasion to convert him. Of course, our intentions were good - we just wanted to save him from the eternal punishment that scared us into believing.
Though it will be interesting to try to find activities to fill the gaps that could be there due to a lack of church kids programs - I know I was extremely involved in those as a kid, and some of them were pretty good activities (choir, musicals, etc.).
It's funny, because I actually think about this somewhat regularly. I find myself worrying about kids who are brainwashed into whatever (pick your poison: being Amish, being a certain flavor of Christian, being a Republican) before they even comprehend Standard English.
I think I agree with your musings. Nothing wrong with expecting your kids to not be emotional bullies or mean and nasty. I'd think a Christian would expect the same from an apostate teenager..
I guess I just hope that a child exposed to reason and scientific thinking, and across-the-board religious education that doesn't cover up all the silliness, would find it almost impossible to actually convert to Christianity. If my hope is correct, I'm not too worried about your future child.
Expecting them to have to pay at least a small amount of attention to the contrary position is only reasonable. It's by the direct avoidance of competing ideas that Christians keep their kids Christian in the first fucking place, don't you think?
SkymarshalOz,
You said poo...
Matty,
Of course I want to be the primary influence in my kid's life, I wasn't trying to be revolutionary, I was just exploring how I might go about that on a specific issue.
Ashe,
The thing I would be trying to avoid would be creating that rebellious effect by saying no. Granted I don't think anyone should read the Bible. I think we should throw them all away, but the reality of the situation is that's impossible and that it has to be dealt with on those terms. If they are just doing it because their friends are, then allowing them their fun time, while applying light guidance will see them through to the next phase without creating even more problems.
NQbass7,
Being tactful is an art of course. Obviously the conversations that happen need to be structured in such a way as to allow the child their own beliefs but also to make sure they know exactly what it is that mommy and daddy believe too and more especially *why*. And I think the better beliefs will win over time on their own without having to be coerced with over-parenting. Like Derek said, mere exposure to better ideas along the way (if its even a problem in the first place) should nip any fundamentalist in training in the bud.
Derek,
The emphasis of course is allowing for healthy diversity and not just one perspective as that is good for everyone and as you say, the reverse should be true of mature Christian parents with an apostate teenager. How can you preach about the evils of dogma if you yourself are being dogmatic? That's a recipe for disaster right there. Of course believing in "free speech" has the cost of actually allowing for that diversity even in your own home. I've never practiced censorship here other than to merely remove unrelated comments. Its an important step in maturity to hold things with open hands...though of course within the protective boundaries of parenting. You guide and protect, but not absolutely control, and count on that evolutionarily honed brain and that natural goodness to do the rest of the job that no imaginary holy spirit ever could.
thanks for the comments everyone,
ARU
ah hahahahah i love the video
I wish I had a "trunk Carrier."
I highly recommend reading John Stuart Mill's Autobiography. I'd also say buy it, it's not that big or expensive (a two buck book), because it makes a great addition to any library. Specifically, the bulk of the book focuses on his upbringing and education. He was learning Greek at age 3, read the classics of Xenophon and Plato and learning Latin by 7. When he was 14, he basically had an education of someone twice his age, and was a great thinker far beyond his time (and often not recognized for it either). In short, raise your kid with the understanding that the human brain can be well educated from the start. Train their mental faculties, and the desire, toward proper thinking and they will identify the flaws in things themselves, under your guidance of course. Oh, he was home schooled by his brilliant father James Mill. Again, great read.